Cherishable, perishable

Mrs. Piggly-Wiggle and the many voices

Sam June 8

John was very sick this week. Lily read him a story.

Maybe it is because Seth is away. Maybe because my John just turned 3. Maybe because I am older. Whatever the cause, life is more precious to me now than ever before. The word kill is almost as startling to me as a curse word. Life has a price and that price is high. Perhaps it started when I began to see the cost. I worked in the ER and prepped rooms before people went in, and cleaned it up when it was empty. I saw the families, the patients, the doctors and nurses. I was pregnant for the first time. Life began to mean more. I remember watching my great-grandmother's casket leave the chapel. I asked my mom why I was crying. She answered, but I didn't understand. I was 8. Lily was born and I saw the patient side of life more. In the opthamology offices, I saw the frail state we live in. John was born and the pain of creating life was pretty big for me. Last year, Rebekah inched too close to upsetting the frail balance. I still have residual pain in my soul. Sam was born. In many ways, he required the most of me. So here I am. By myself, crying over the price of life. Really, what more could I ask than to cherish the delightful moments of my life. They are worth every painful reality I feel. Here is to life, living and lived.

Happy Birthday!!

His First bike, FINALLY!!