Cinderella

My big girls are growing up. They love the newest Cinderella movie. The movie is full of color, wisdom, and great dresses. Who doesn't love a great dress?  Check out this skirt. Yards and yards of fabrics. It's fantastic.

We watched this tonight and I was struck by a few things.
Naturally, the phrase "Have courage and be kind" should be noted. It is the theme of the story. But there were more subtle and quiet themes riding on the skirt of the big theme. They are most notable during the final scenes of the film.

First, the stepmother's backstory.

She illuminates the source of her bitterness. Lost love. There really were only two choices for her at that point: carry on loving or wallow in bitterness and anger. Interesting, that Cinderella provides such a striking contrast when facing a similar loss.  The stepmother declares "Love is not free." What kind of love is she talking about? Unconditional love requires you to give nothing to receive it. But a selfish "love", if you can call it such, would require a heavy price indeed to collect or "give", as the term would be loosely applied. It demands, cajoles, fakes, manipulates, and never fills. A person who embodies such demands would never be able to honestly answer the questions Cinderella asks, "Why? Why are you so cruel?" A door in the face, a hung up phone, the turn of a back are the only options after dismissing the truth. What might the truth be? Could it be fear to love and lose again? Grief? Making oneself vulnerable to pain and loss? Fear of failure? Rejections?  Are they not all forms of loss of security and certainty? Fear of what could be? Fear of what was?

Second, while Cinderella is locked in her attic room, the narrator says her spirit is not broken. Years of abuse, and her spirit is not broken because she held safely in her heart the memories of what love really looks like: Courage and Kindness. She was not buried by her grief. She continued to find joy in the beauty of the world. She chose kindness in little ways that buoyed her up. (mice, little ways)  She knew who she was. She was not a wretch as her stepmother told her, but a simple country girl as she describes herself. She finds no shame in herself. She accepts her faults and admits her strengths, but extends her protection beyond herself, even risking herself, to others. She embodies unconditional love...you know, the free kind with no strings.


Third, and perhaps most healing of all, Cinderella openly forgives and promptly forgets her stepmother.  It does not seem the memories of those difficult years haunted the new queen. She seems to have released all the hurt, worry, and grief the stepmother caused in a few simple words.  "I forgive you."  

It's all fiction, but if ever there were a fictional character who could teach me a better way, she would be Cinderella.  Perhaps, choosing courage and kindness has more depth than would be thought. Perhaps, it's just as simple as it sounds. Kindness requires courage, forgiveness, and love. Courage is not a gift or a talent. It is a choice. Maybe choosing courage for kindness is a worthy pursuit, a happier way. Maybe I choose courage and kindness.