Dear Journal

It's been awhile, but I had to note the wild weekend we had. It all started when Grandma came to our town from clear across the continent. We love to have her. There is always an influx of people when she stays with us. We love it. She plays games, is a great hider, reads to everyone, hangs on every little child's words, and is so full of love and faith. She is like a ray of sunshine in our cloudy, wintry sky. Friday was a big day for preparing. Lily and, mostly, Rebekah mixed, rolled and baked mini-pie crusts all day. I made a few dresses. Boys played with Grandma. What's all the prep for? Well, we all had the delightful opportunity to support our spunky Lily in her decision to be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As she prepared for this day, I made her plan the program. Among other things, she and Miss Rebekah sang a duet, "Seek the Lord Early." Well, that'll do a mom in. Here are my babies singing their desire to seek the Lord at this early age. What I have to say about this could get complicated, so I'll continue on with events. Afterwards, all the family who attended came together for lunch. Hence the pies! Everyone was in good spirits and good health. The day turned to evening, children went to bed, adults flooded in to visit with our beloved Grandma. Then an unexpected thing happened. A phone call from my sister. PAUSE: Unless it is expected, do not make phone calls after 9 pm or before 8 am, unless necessary, because there is only one reason to be making calls at this time, and it is never good. The phone rang at 9:41pm. Oh dread. I almost didn't want to answer. It couldn't be good. It wasn't. From the high of the morning to this low, my stepfather suffered a brain bleed, hemorrhage, stroke--did they give an official name? I don't know, but this wasn't good. My sisters and I left shortly after the call. We knew it would be a long night at the hospital, and it was.

If ever a reason was given to change your perspective and balance in life, this is it. Everything is fine all day. Then, suddenly, it's not. With life hanging in the balance, nothing seems to matter anymore except for your family. Kiss your loved ones tonight and be grateful for the moments you have.

In some respects, that night is not over. He is breathing on his own, but things grow complicated and with only six words from his mouth in three days it's almost like your heart if afraid to breath for fear of breaking. Seventy-two hours of waiting, and more waiting to come. It is a long night.

Dear Mom, please hang in there. Please don't give up. Please find some comfort.

Dear Mike, you've already affected many for good in the difficulty you have suffered. Whatever the outcome, thank you for your gift of perspective and open hearts, and for the strength you have shown.

Dear Lord, please hear our prayers.

Dear journal. Highs of joy and fun and happiness. Lows of humility, prayer, hope, helplessness. It will be a long, long ride, but I pray it ends high. Thank you for my family.

Love,

Kira